I want to mark November with a hot and spicy recipe to warm up this chilly month. Or, if you're one for puns and fun, replace the aforementioned "chilly" with "chili". HA! Get it? Because...
Ingredient Spotlight:
Name: Sriracha
Origin: Thailand / USA
Known for: Being called "cock sauce".
Uses: Making everything from pancakes to soups to birthday parties better.
Can you eat it raw? Yes, and you should with everything.
I know you know what Sriracha is, and if not, you absolutely need to. Otherwise our friendship will be severely compromised.
But listen - I'm about to do things to this Sriracha that are sex crime-alicious. Perhaps you know that Sriracha already has garlic in it. Yes? No? Who cares? Yeah. Well, I'm gonna add MORE garlic to it. And some other stuff. I don't think you or your mouth is ready for this. For the weak, I recommend that you leave now. For your safety. Brace yourselves for...
SRIRACHAIOLI WITH GREEN BEAN TEMPURA
This is one ruthless motherfucker of a sauce, guaranteed to set your mouth on fire, accompanied by seductively crispy green beans. Proceed with caution.
(The following is for one small bowl of sauce and a handful of beans. Use math to make more than more than one small bowl of sauce and a handful of beans.)
Main Stuff:
Srirachaioli
3-4 cloves of garlic, halved
1 egg yolk* (no whites. NO WHITES.)
About 1/2 a cup of olive oil
Lemon juice
Sriracha
Green Bean Tempura**
Green beans
1 cup flour
1 tablespoon corn starch
1 1/2 cups beer / seltzer / something carbonated. But use beer.
Salt
Spices/Herbs (All to taste):
Add whatever you want to the tempura batter, idgaf.
Optional ingredients:
None? Different veggies I guess?
Total cost per serving:
Maybe 97¢
*Yes, this recipe contains raw eggs. You have been warned. Don't be dumb about it.
**Yes, this recipe involved deep-frying. Don't be dumb about that either.
Steps:
For the Srirachaioli:
1. To make this the old fashioned way, you will need a mortar and pestle. Otherwise, use a food processor or your most durable plate and spoon.
2. Toss all the garlic and salt in there. Mash 'em up. Pulverize them. BE MEAN AND DIRTY ABOUT IT.
3. Add the egg yolk, and mix slowly. Then, add olive oil, drop by precious drop. Start slow, as if you don't want the oil in there. Add just enough to thin out the mixture and mix that shit slooooowly.
4. Add some lemon juice if the aioli is too thick. Or don't. Whatev.
5. Add the Sriracha, and use as copious of an amount as you would like. You will be left with this:
For the Green Bean Tempura:
1. Heat up some canola oil (it doesn't have to be canola, but it's the safest choice) in your deep-fryer. Keep a close eye on it, as you don't want any surprise oil fires. It should reach 375ish degrees, which is when it starts getting all swirly and bubbly.
2. Mix the flour, cornstarch, beer, and spices in a bowl until they are a total mess, like this one:
3. Dip those green bitches into the batter, and fry them in the oil a few at a time for about 1-2 minutes. This will be the most obscene mess your kitchen has ever seen. Or at least one of them.
Enjoy as much as possible. Invite your friends over and have them revel in your cooking genius. And laugh maliciously as their mouths burn from the flavor, because they will.
Adios, kids.
